Should My Elderly Parent Have Surgery?
The Family's Role in the Surgical Decision
What You Should Do
| Role | Specifically |
|---|---|
| Gather information | Read the articles on this site to understand the options |
| Attend appointments | Listen to the doctor's explanation alongside your parent and take notes |
| Ask questions on their behalf | Raise things your parent may hesitate to ask |
| Organize the options | Make a pros-and-cons comparison to discuss together |
| Respect their wishes | The final decision belongs to your parent |
What to Avoid
| Action | Why |
|---|---|
| Pressuring them to have surgery | Your parent's own wishes matter most |
| Citing scary stories from the internet | Don't let extreme anecdotes drive the decision |
| Recommending alternative therapies behind the doctor's back | Protect the relationship with the treating physician |
| Making all the decisions for them | Having a say in their own treatment supports motivation and recovery |
Questions to Ask the Doctor
When surgery is being considered, bring these questions to the appointment:
- What happens if we don't proceed with surgery?
- What is the success rate for this procedure?
- What are the surgical risks for someone this age?
- How long until they can walk again after surgery?
- Are there alternatives to surgery?
- Would SCS (Spinal Cord Stimulation) be an option?
[!info] More comprehensive question lists Questions to Ask Your Doctor provides situation-specific checklists.